I am Thomas. I built this app out of my own experiences and needs when I was faced with a difficult relationship situation. I'm not a therapist, and I think being honest about that matters when you offer an app in this field. But I believe that having navigated these situations myself, combined with many years of experience building software, lets me offer you an app that is helpful and safe at the same time.
After a good marriage of 24 years I was suddenly faced with the dating world of 2024. I had never heard of relationship anxiety or attachment patterns before, and I had never felt anxious in my previous relationships, until I tried to make a relationship work with a woman who, as I later learned, was an avoidantly attached person. I won't go into details, but their tendency to suddenly become distant or run away after moments of close intimacy can create enormous stress, especially if you lean toward the anxious side of attachment theory. I was faced with challenges I didn't recognize in myself:
After that I started serious research into relationship patterns and how to deal with situations like this. One thing I realized, after analysing several escalating past conversations, was that the escalation could have been avoided if I had had a tool to reflect before replying. If there had been a good friend telling me at the right moment that I was giving up on myself, or giving me a reality check like "your expectations are not unreasonable".
From my daily work with Claude AI I had already observed that it can be surprisingly empathic, and one thing AIs are really great at is detecting patterns. So I built a first prototype to explore how far we could go by giving the AI specialized rules (prompts) for exactly these situations instead of relying on its default behavior. Already the first results were so good that I decided to build a real support app.
The result is an app that behaves in many ways like a good friend, but with endless patience and without judgment. We made sure that the AI stays compassionate and supportive, but at the same time it will never only confirm your opinion. It challenges it in a healthy way, so that you have a chance to understand your own blind spots and your own behavioral patterns.
Three mechanisms allow Don't Spiral to do a better job than the generic AI apps:
What convinced me it can actually help: the moments this anxiety does its damage are exactly the moments no other help is available. A therapist is not reachable at 2am. Friends get tired of the same reassurance loop. Journaling doesn't answer back. What people do instead is spiral alone, or send the message they regret. An app can be there in exactly that minute, remember your story, help your body settle first, and slow you down before you react. It doesn't replace therapy. It fills the gap between sessions, at the hour when the gap is widest.
The app follows a simple sequence that also shapes every article we write: react to the specific trigger (not "anxiety" in general), help the body settle first, and only then start thinking the situation through. The techniques we use draw on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), and the attachment research literature.
Our articles come from the same playbook the app runs every day: concrete scenarios, something you can do in the next five minutes, an explanation of why your brain does this (with sources), and honest guidance on when an article, or an app, is not enough.
Don't Spiral, the app and this blog, is not therapy and not a substitute for professional help. We don't diagnose, and we don't make treatment claims. If anxiety is seriously affecting your life, a licensed professional is the right next step.
If you are in crisis: in the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). Elsewhere, find your local helpline at findahelpline.com.
Questions, corrections, or feedback on an article: hi@donspiral.app. If we got something wrong, we want to know.